Life Capsule for Today Date 31st August, 2022
Theme: Conflict Management (5)
Text: Matt 5:9
9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God. KJV
Topic: Conflict management among couples (2)
Today’s Reading:
Words of the Ministry:
Yesterday, we looked at the several reasons for conflict in marriages and promised to consider the solution to them. Today I would attempt to comment on the master key of conflict management among couples. Remember we learnt that conflict in marriage in itself is not a bad thing as I believe when properly managed, we can get the most of it and it would translate into healthier family relationships.
Communication is the master key to conflict management, just as all relationship starts with it, be it marital, friendship or business, communication both verbal and non-verbal is the starting point. The natural thing some person would like to do is to avoid the other party and not necessarily express their feelings. Some say it’s out of several failed attempts to correct the other partners while some just prefer to bottle it or share with third party. Non-communication itself is a fuel to greater conflicts if not in place and it helps to resolve all conflicts if properly utilized.
To properly appreciate communication, we would look at some of the basic element it must have to be effective. I want to assume both parties love each other before they got married so I would not emphasize on love as much. Some of the basic elements an effective communication channeled towards conflict resolution must have for a believer includes:
- Knowledge of man’s natural weakness: When conflict arise, many seem to forget that man is naturally weak in certain areas and that we are from different backgrounds, we most times expect so much from our partners that we forget they are different and have weaknesses just as we do. For our communication to be effective, it must be with knowledge of the weakness of your partner and the fact that both parties are work in progress, we must also keep in mind our partners changes physiologically and psychologically with age and experiences of life, such changes may come as a surprise to us but it is part of man’s growth cycle.
- Forbearance: Another important element in conflict management is forbearance, we must put our emotions under control. Many give standards beyond the standards of God to their partners, they want their partners to change to whatever they want overnight while we take several years to become what Jesus wants us to be. For conflict to be properly managed, we need patience and a guarded emotion. We must tame our tongue as anger and wrath are close relatives to conflict and they may mar the resolution process.
- Humility: Humility is another very important factor in effective communication. For us to make the best of our conflict resolution, we must reach the other party in humility and gentleness, the bible speaks a lot about humility. We must step down from the high horse of superior argument and knowledge.
- Willingness to help: While many are quick to point out the problem with their spouse, they do little to help, a simple example is with bed issues, conflict could arise as a result of dissatisfaction, when communicating this to your partners, you should also try to help your partner by advising, providing health diets, guidance etc
- Prayers: We said the family is the bedrock of society and the devil loves to destroy it, when we try to resolve conflict we must know we are treading a dangerous ground as what we are trying to do is to unseat the devil from our family relationship. It is therefore expected that we encounter some resistance but we must be deliberate to pray through as praying is telling God who gave you the partner your problem and asking him to intervene.
- Learn from Experience: Most conflict arise repetitive in home, many claim they have had conflict over the same matter over and over but the other party would never learn. Like we said earlier, both parties must be deliberate knowing they both need help. For your family relationship and bond to grow stronger, you must learn from the past and avoid a continuous repetition the issues that bring conflict else the other party may just loose interest.
- Seek Knowledge: Read books as a partner, watch movies, attend seminars and conferences together, share what you have learnt. Both of you must see your marriage as a project, you must both be deliberate before any positive result would come forth.
- Seek Counsel: After praying, the next important thing to do if all has fails is to seek counsel from an elderly couple if possible, in choosing the couple please be sure they are mature and spiritual, it doesn’t have to be a pastor but a Godly saint who understands the process of growth in life.
- Spend time together: Partners must learn to spend time together, one of the issues that strengthens conflict is separation, when we are too bust apart which atimes could be caused by work, raising children, church activities, health issues, social media etc, we become more vulnerable to satanic attack. We must therefore work things out prioritizing togetherness as much as possible.
I strongly believe if we put these steps into practice, our home would be a reference point. May God grant us light.
Bible in one year: Lamentation 3-5
For further fellowship send us an email on godmanvideos@gmail.comor visit our youtube channel: @godmanmedia. You can also interact with us by dropping your comments on our facebook page. Our physical meeting, Word feast comes up every Wednesday by 5pm and Prayer Gym every Saturday by 7am while PENIEL comes up once a month, every last Sunday of the month from 4pm to 6.30pm at Suite A10, Ahser Office Complex, beside Living Faith Church, Opposite Hassan Stores, Arab Road, Kubwa Abuja.