Life Capsule for Today Date 18th October, 2023
Theme: Conflict Management (6)
Text: Matt 5:9
9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God. KJV
Topic: Conflict management among Children
Today’s Reading: Eph 6:4
4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. KJV
Words of the Ministry:
Today we intend to look at conflict resolution among our children in our homes and by extension our neighborhood. We would all agree that our children are tomorrow’s parents and when we imbibe this culture early in them, it would help solve a larger percentage of conflicts when they grow older. Poor management of conflicts among siblings have caused enmity among many children of same parents, such emotional and psychological trauma atimes end up affecting such children even when grown in their business place, among friends and even in their marriages. It is therefore important that parents take the upbringing of the kids very importantly.
One of the most damaging things we can do among our children is to show favoritism of one over the other, when we do that, we are building a foundation for hate and envy and our judgement would most times be interpreted wrongly. Managing children is very delicate as our choices, actions and reaction forms the fiber of their being. I like to highlight a few steps that could help us manage conflicts among our kids.
Listening: One of the most important steps to take in managing conflict among children from same family or friends is listening. Adults must listen to each party express themselves and their feelings, we must restrain them from using abusive and negative words while expressing themselves. We must try to give equal opportunity to both parties to state their case using words like “I fell____________, when you _____________ because i would like ___________ etc.
Emotional Management: At times children could get emotional when stating their case, such emotions must be well managed and if they feel they are never listened to, they may not see the need to say what they mean rather they would become vengeful trying to express their anger with violence. Parents must be sensitive to the emotion of children and how each person expresses his or hers, we must be patient and be careful with our facial expressions as it means a lot to children. Remember we are forming a character in them that would last forever by our attitude.
Draw the missing Link: One of the reasons we are to listen to them patiently without assumptions and taking sides is because we want to resolve conflicts, for children, conflicts are most times a product of misinformation, misunderstanding and mood swing as a result of trying to express an emotional need. As we listen to both parties, we must try to make them see the missing link in their conclusions and why either party must have taken the other step. We must avoid stereotyping any child as the evil one or troublemaker.
Picture and scenario building: Parents can go further to paint a possible picture of an aggravated conflict between children, make them imagine and see what could have happened if there is no intervention or should the conflict continue. You could give examples of a fight ensuing; injuries being sustained leading to hospitalizing one or both parties etc. This help child builds emotional intelligence as they now think of the consequences of their actions before they act.
Teaching them to admit being wrong: One of the problems in many homes is that parties find it difficult to admit they are even wrong, simple words like please, sorry is so difficult to many married couples and that prolongs their conflicts. We must teach our children to admit they are wrong when they are and apologies as soon as they realize they are wrong. This is more effective when they see their parent apologize to each other when wrong. We must never teach the idea that the boys are always right or wrong, the more elderly is always right or wrong. We must teach them to apologies regardless of gender or age, this is not just for today but also for their future relationships in marriage, carrier or among friends. Please join us next week Sunday for October Peniel Encounter.
Bible in One Year: Mark 12-13
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